Super Smash Snake
by ChaosE
Summary: Snake has absolutely no peace in the Smash Mansion. He can't even smoke in peace. He loves Samus, but she doesn't love him. How will he survive in the Smash Mansion? *I suck at summaries. Much better than it sounds*
1. The Beginning

**Me: **Please sit back, relax, and enjoy the story. Would my star character like to do the disclaimer?

**Snake: **No. I don't do disclaimer shit.

**Me: **Oh yes you will, and because this is the world of fan fiction, I can do whatever I want to you. Now do the freakin' disclaimer before I turn you into algae!

**Snake: **Fine, Nintendo-says-hi doesn't own Super Smash Bros. Especially me, Solid Snake, the greatest fighter in Smash Bros. history.

*smiles adorably* Enjoy!

P.S. Yaoi will be seen in this story.

* * *

"Who new the Super Smash Bros. mansion could be so hectic and chaotic. Every day I almost get pelted with food in the dining room at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. During the summer, I get splashed all day _no matter where I am _(literally). The only woman I ever had feelings for in this place, cheats on every man she gets. I told her if some people can _marry_ a others nearly twice their age, that she can at least give me a shot. I even told her about Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon. There is a ten year difference and they're in love. But then we got into an argument." Snake thought to himself.

**_Flashback start_**

"I only date men within a five year range of my age, Snake. I'm sorry, but this just isn't gonna work out." Samus told him.

"But I'm only eleven years older than you. You can get past that right? Please, just for me? Can't I be the exception?" Snake pleaded.

"No Snake. I'm sorry but I gotta go. I'll see you later." Samus said as she walked off.

**_Flashback end_**

All I could do after that incident was smoke just like a chimney. It felt good. I love smoking." Snake thought to himself.

"This is so boring. All he's thinking about is how much he loves smoking and Samus." Ness sighed as he read Snake's mind.

"At least it's better than Samus's mind. She's thinking about what guy she want to sleep with next." Lucas exclaimed as he read Samus's mind.

"How are we supposed to get Samus and Snake together if smoke and sex is the only thing on their minds?" Ness asked Lucas.

"I am quite delighted that you asked. I think I have an idea. Remember when Fox tried to get to Samus's heart by learning how to dance?" Lucas asked.

"Fox was just trying to make Falco jealous." Ness suddenly remembered the truth behind the whole event.

"That may be, but he did get to Samus's heart." Lucas informed. Fox was Samus's eighty-forth boyfriend.

"But when she found out Fox was just using her, she totally kicked his ass." Ness reminded Lucas.

"Can't you just agree to anything I say? Does our relationship mean anything to you? You always tell me the bad side of my ideas. Just please this one time agree with me." Lucas pleaded with Ness.

"Fine. But I still…"

"Shhhhhh. Zip it." Lucas cut Ness off to avoid further negativity.

Snake thought of Samus as a hot young, fine, sexy female that makes him want to have orgasm over and over again. Other details on what he thinks of her will not be mentioned, but you get the point.

Ness and Lucas really shouldn't be reading Snake's sexual perverted mind, but they must find a way to get them together. Why must they you ask? Let us have a look into the past.

_**(Flashback starts)**_

Back when Lucas was running from Porkey, he tripped and fell. Ness showed up to protect Lucas. We thought Ness won the battle against Porkey and lost to Wario, but there was a alternate part to this scene that no one has ever seen. Porkey critically injured Ness. He tried to use PK Thunder to attack Porkey, but the he dodged the electric ball and stabbed Ness right in the stomach with one of his sharp arms. Red, who apparently wasn't too far away, noticed what was happening and decided to step in. Since Red is an irresponsible teenager, he lost his Pokeballs. All of them unfortunately. He's gotta catch 'em all and he can't even find the ones he has. He was pretty much useless in this fight.

There was a fairly large box in the area. It was tan with a huge orange exclamation point and the words "Smash Bros." printed on it. Out from under the box came a tall man wearing stealth camo gear and a headband. Seeing what he was up against, he pulled out his grenade launcher. With a few well timed and pinpointed shots he saved Ness, Lucas, and Red's life when it was their moment to shine.

_**(Flashback ends)**_

As you can see, Snake is always well prepared. Literally (He sleeps with his rifle and has a pistol in his bathroom). Not only does Ness and Lucas owe Snake big-time, but so does Red. Snake let Red off the hook because he got Samus to kiss him the previous Christmas. He used duskull (a ghost pokemon) to sneak a mistletoe over the arch in which they were exchanging gifts.

Ness and Lucas hoped Samus's thought would make things easier for them. Hopefully they could find out what she likes in men. To make matters worse, they can't get to Samus's mind through her power suit, gravity suit, phazon suit, varia suit, dark suit, light suit, or fusion suit. But her zero suit is like an open book. Samus recently received an update for all of her suits. If anyone even tries to red her mind, she'll know about it. Samus doesn't play.

"Ness, guess what."

"What Lucas?"

"Samus is talking to Peach, Zelda, and Jigglypuff about guys."

"That's great. Where are they?"

"They're talking in the courtyard."

"C'mon Peach!" yelled Samus eagerly.

"Yeah, tell us the news already." whined Jigglypuff.

"Spill the beans Peach." Apparently the girls are very interested in what Peach has to say.

"Well ladies," Peach began, "earlier today, Mario asked me to marry him." The other three girls shrieked in delight at the great news.

"I hear things are getting pretty serious between you and Kirby, Jigglypuff." began Zelda as she sipped her tea.

"Yeah, were taking it slow." Jigglypuff nervously stated. She lied however. She and Kirby have been having sex every night for the past couple of weeks.

"What about you Samus? Are you interested in anyone? I hear Snake's got a thing for you. You should give him a chance." Peach advised.

This caught Ness and Lucas's attention. They were listening to the whole conversation.

"Maybe you're right Peach. I mean, what do I have to lose?" Samus was hesitant to say this, but she was open to her friends' ideas or suggestions. She still thought though "I'm not going to lower my standards for some explosion obsessed asshole.

When Samus said this, Ness and Lucas regained confidence in their hopes of getting Snake and Samus together. It would still be a challenge though because Samus was still unsure.

* * *

**Author's note:** Please review. This story is just beginning. Tell me if I should continue even though I will whether you like it or not.


	2. Bathroom Smoke

**Me: **Hey there people of earth. Thanks for sticking with me this long. I warmly welcome you to chapter three of Super Smash Snake. Today we have Snake's love interest doing the disclaimer. Please welcome Samus Aran.

**Samus: **Thank You. Nintendo-says-hi couldn't possibly own Super Smash Bros. and Metroid is out of the question. Excuse me sir but could you please make sure Snake and I don't end up together. He gives me the creeps.

**Me: **Yes and No. It depends on how the story goes. Maybe some reviews on what my readers want could change the course of the story completley. I'm just making this up as I go along. Now enjoy the story my victims, I mean readers. Enjoy the story my readers.

* * *

"What the hell is that smell?! Is something burning?" Ike said as he scrunched up his nose. He figured it would be Peach or Kirby burning something in the kitchen.

Yoshi's amazing sense of smell led them to the nearest bathroom. When they entered, they saw the source of the fire. Snake was nearby, cigarette in hand, smoking like a chimney.

"Snake, we smell that shit all the way from the lounge." Ike stated.

"Do you have any idea what smoking does to your lungs?" Yoshi asked.

"I don't give a damn. Smoking calms me down." Snake nonchalantly said. "I don't get women. They tell me they don't like older men and then go marry one nearly twice their age. Am I unattractive? Am I not a ladies man?" Snake said in a worried tone.

"Did you try eHarmony, TRUE, SugarDaddie, empower, or match?" Yoshi asked. That's how he and Birdo hooked up.

"I tried them all and I got no matches." Snake said. "Maybe I should be gay. I've had this on my mind for a while and it's gonna take some time to get used to but it may prove to be effective. I take gay classes with Marth somewhere in Los Angeles. He's excited because our guest speaker next week is Bruno. He thinks Bruno is going to convert me, but I saw that fagot's__movie**_. _**_**(A/N: sorry to any gays who read that; Snake is a serious homophobe)**_ If he touches me, I will KILL him. You know I got my license to kill when I turned 23."

"Snake, you're friends love you." Ike was hesitant to say "We love you." Ike looked like he was about to faint after saying this, mostly because the smoke in the room was keeping him from breathing. He couldn't take it any more. He ran out the room wondering how Snake could survive in there.

Before Yoshi also ran out the room, he suggested that Snake goes to rehab. Snake shot back "Amy Winehouse didn't want to go and neither do I." (**_A/N: go to my profile for a link to why Amy Whinehouse didn't want to go)_**

"But Rihanna would have went!" Yoshi yelled barely audible from the great distance. (**_A/N: go to my profile for a link to why Rihanna would have went)_**

As Snake left the bathroom to chase Yoshi to argue, he stopped when he noticed Sonic running toward him with a pen and a notepad with great speed.

"Hey Snake. I'm trying to write a book on why people shouldn't smoke. It's called The Top Reasons Why You Shouldn't Smoke. Any tips?" Sonic asked.

"Yeah," Snake began, "don't write this book."

"Why?" Sonic asked.

"You'll be sleeping with the fishes if you do." Snake answered striking fear into Sonic. He then ran away at the speed of sound, faster than he has ever gone before.

As Sonic was running, he thought of a way to get Samus to admire Snake a tad bit more. If she could see how skilled he was in battle, she might just appreciate him a little more. He ran to Master Hand's office. He requested one of the most skill proving tournaments in the Smash universe. He requested………………..the Tourney. *dramatic music*

"Sonic, are you sure you want to do this?" Master Hand asked Sonic still unsure of this decision. "I know we haven't had the Tourney in a while, but don't you think that is a bit much to ask?"

"Not at all. You ask us of things that are too great for us to handle all the time."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do. Remember when you forced us all individually to defeat nine of the fighting alloys in cruel brawl all at the same time or else we were going to be stuck in an eternal dark dimension with Tabuu forever?" Sonic asked remembering the horror of being ganged up on by nine alloys.

"It was to test your fighting skill, and I promised that I would never do it again. JUST LET IT GO!" Master Hand yelled defensively. Sonic just ignored him completely and tried to remember the reason he was there.

"I forgot why I came here." he said quietly but not quiet enough.

"Usually, I'd do something absolutely horrible to you and make sure no one ever finds out because you weren't even listening to me, but the Tourney is too much of a serious matter to ignore. Please continue about why you think we should do this."

Sonic, not wanting to anger Master Hand any further, continued his absurd request.

"The tourney can show if any of the Smashers have improved or not. Plus, Oni Link has never been in the Tourney. We need to see if he is truly better than all the other Links that you, for some reason, keep bringing into the mansion." Sonic explained.

"Fine, I shall initiate the Tourney. And just for the record, I just found out that Crazy Hand is the one who keeps bringing in all these Links without my permission." Master Hand stated.

* * *

**Author's note: **Thanks for reading and please review. Your reviews are what keep me going. There's lots of bonus content in my page. Go there for Rihanna and Amy Whinehouse.


	3. The New Tourney

**Me: **I was going to have Yoshi and Kirby do the disclaimer but I decided I'll do it instead. I've been waiting 45 minutes for them to get over here.

**Yoshi:** Wait!

**Kirby: **Don't start without us!

**Me: **I've been waiting forever for you guys and you decide to come now!?

**Kirby: **Please let us do the disclaimer.

**Me: **I hate it when you give me the puppy dog face, but I can't resist. Your just so cute. You can do the disclaimer on one condition. Your going to be human until further notice.

In a flash of light, Kirby became a 5' 7 man with pink hair wearing a pink hoodie and white pants with brown boots. (**A/N:** **_come to my profile for a picture of him)_**

**Me: **Yoshi, your punishment will be you get to be in the 5th chapter. You'll find out why that is your punishment in the next chapter. You may proceed Kirby.

**Kirby: **Nintendo-says-hi owns nothing but the story. Please change me back.

**Me: **No. Your puppy dog face doesn't work as a human. Onward to the story!

* * *

"All Smashers report to the conference room immediately," Master Hand boomed over the intercom. His voice is so loud he doesn't even need it, but he thought it made him look good.

The smashers talked amongst each other as they walked to the conference room.

"You think this has to do with Kirby and Yoshi eating all the food," one would say.

"Maybe it has to do with Kirby, Peach, and Roy almost setting the kitchen on fire," another would add.

"It could be Mewtwo and Lucario's overdue books at the Smash Library. They rented out all the books and didn't return one!"

Olimar, however, had another theory. "Maybe it was has to do with Snake smoking out all the bees in the Smash Garden. Have you seen Bee Movie? Without any bees, there can be no flowers, fruits, or vegetables. It effects the animal kingdom. If the animal kingdom is effected, then so are humans. Everyone on earth would have to go to another planet, or else we would all die." Olimar is very sensitive about vegetation and the environment. Although he is right, he may sometmes get a little obsessive over any planets plant life.

When the smashers entered the conference room they noticed Master Hand, Crazy Hand, and Tabuu were in the room. Never have the smashers seen all three of them together without trying to beat the hell out of each other. Once everyone was in the room, Master Hand began.

"Thank you all for coming. My supervisors at the Nintendo co. have ordered me to add a new type of battle to the tournament. We will now have a second addition to the Tourney. This will be the most dangerous type of combat ever established in the smash universe. We will now have......Death Combat. In Death Combat, all smashers and other video game stars, will compete for the title of the greatest video game star. The winner will own and run the largest company in the world. For example, if Mario wins Death Combat, everything having to do with the Mario comapany will own he largest advertisement company, the greatest in fine apparrel, television shows, movies, music, games, electronics, statues, even food companies. If Peach wins, she would go from Mushroom Kingdom princess, to business, city, county, state, or even country queen. If Pit wins, he would rule Skyworld. The only thing about Death Combat is that you will be vulnerable to death. These matches will be fought until one either forfeits or dies. It will be plain fighting. Here in the tournament, we have set up a way to remain safe from any potential danger."

"Master Hand,"Sonic began,"I wish to initiate the Tourney: Death Combat."

Everyone either gasped, started yelling at Sonic, or started cursing him out.

"What the fuck is wrong with you!?"

"I will kill your ass."

"You dumbass hedgehog."

"Mewtwo or Lucario, can you take a look at Sonic? I think he has lost his mind."

Sonic just ignored the insults he recieved.

"Sonic, I will mark you down as the first entry for the Tourney: Death Combat. My supervisors told me to announce this to you now because we are all going to the GreatStrahov Stadium in Prague of the Czech Republic ,which is the largest stadium in the world, next month. You are to pack your things to get ready for this record breaking tournament. This tournament will only be held once every decade."

"This will be the perfect way to win Samus over," Marth whispered to Snake.

"If I have to kill someone to get to Samus's heart, then it shall be done." Snake said before lifting a cigarette to his mouth.

"Snake, I don't know if you've noticed, but Lucas and I have been trying to get you and Samus together for almost a week now. If you just give us some time I'm sure we can do this without you having to kill someone." Ness stated.

"You know Snake, I can talk to Samus for you if you want me to. She is a good friend of mine. I'm sure I could get her to give you a shot." Marth offered.

"I'll take any help you guys can give me, other than quitting smoking." Snake said gratefully. Master Hand turned to see where the conversation was coming from. He noticed Snake smoking.

"Snake," Master Hand yelled,"either you put the cigarette out, or I put you out."

Lucas was drifting off to sleep from the boredom of the meeting. Red tapped him on the shoulder and he suddenly felt an spine tingling cold burst of energy. The burst of energy was so great, that Lucas accidentally unleashed PK Freeze, instantly freezing Snake who was only 2 seats away.

"Thank you Lucas." said Master Hand as he continued his long speech.

After 2 hours of more explaining, a ton of questions, and the bad side being creepily described by Tabuu, Master Hand finally said,"You are to be packed and ready 2 days in advance. You are dismissed."

* * *

**Author's note**: This is my longest chapter so far. The next chapter will be action filled. If you want to see someone do the disclaimer, feel free to ask in your comments.


	4. Metal Gear Metroid War 1

**Me:** Thank you for waiting. I know it's been a long time, but I was busy. Sonic, by request, you have been chosen to do the disclaimer. Are you ok? You look a bit nervous.

**Sonic:** Yeah I'm fine let's just get this over with.

**Me:** Well I'm waiting on you.

**Sonic:** Nintendo-says-hi owns nothing but the story. Can I tell them about what you did to Jigglypuff?

**Me:** You ruined the surprise Sonic! Just go away! I had to make Jigglypuff human because I couldn't have human Kirby making love to a pink puffball. Go to my profile to see the human versions of Kirby and Jigglypuff. She is the only Pokemon that Captain Falcon and Snake would have deviant fantasies about.

**Sonic:** She's hot. *smiles with a stupid grin*

**Smashers:** Attack!!!!!

Various smashers suddenly started attacking the hedgehog. He then sped off into the distance with all the smashers chasing after him.

**Me:** Anyway…… Please enjoy the story.

* * *

"Attention all smashers, please come to the conference room immediately." Master Hand called out.

"Why?!"

"We were just in the conference room three days ago."

"What could he possibly have to tell us now?" were some of the complaints that came from the smashers as they reluctantly walked to the conference room.

This time when the smashers entered the conference room, they saw Master Hand, Red, Samus, Mario, and Sonic on the small stage. When everyone arrived, Master Hand began.

"Thank you all for coming. It seems there has been a delay with the Tourney. The Pokemon, Mario, Sonic, and Metroid teams will not be joining us. They will be leaving for their own worlds tomorrow evening. I don't like the fact that my veteran smashers won't be participating in a tournament that they're hosting so I'm postponing the Tourney until everyone returns." Master Hand announced.

Snake became heartbroken at the news.

"What do you mean they're leaving?!" he blurted out.

"I mean they aren't coming back till they finish their games next year. That's all I wanted to tell you. You are dismissed." Master Hand explained.

"Mario," Peach called.

"Yes honey," Mario responded.

"I don't feel well," Peach told him.

"Come-a on, I'll take-a you to the infirmary." Mario said as he motioned Peach toward the door holding her by the waist.

"Nurse-a Joy, could-a you please examine-a Peach for me while-a I get-a my things?" Mario asked.

"Yes, of course Dr. Mario." Nurse Joy replied. (She may be a Pokemon doctor but in this story she is certified nurse for all)

After various tests and observations Mario finally came to tell Peach the news.

"Peach sweetie," Mario started.

"Yes, Mario?"

"We're-a gonna be a family."

"What do you mean Mario?" Peach asked.

"You are-a pregnant honey." Mario announced.

"That's wonderful."

"I called-a and arranged our-a wedding ceremony too. When-a we leave-a tomorrow evening, we'll-a be going to your-a castle where-a Toadsworth agreed to marry us."

"Mario that's great. That's absolutely amazing. I can't wait. We should probably let SEGA know I can't come to the winter Olympics."

"Yeah, I'll-a call them first-a thing tomorrow morning. As soon as you-a get dressed, we can start-a packing. It's a long trip back-a to Mushroom Kingdom."

"Ness, Lucas, Mewtwo, and Lucario heard the conversation from their various locations throughout the mansion. They went to go see the couple when they noticed Snake ear pressed to the door listening in on their conversation. When Mario opened the door, Snake fell over anime style with the sweat drop of nervousness.

"Snake! What are you doing?!" Peach asked now shocked.

"I'm telling." Snake said like a bratty little kid as he ran to Master Hand's office.

Lucas and Ness stopped Snake by setting a wall of fire in his path.

"Where do you think your going?" They said with a creepy smile forming on their faces as they emerged from the flame.

Snake turned back around to talk to face Peach.

"Mario and I aren't ready to go public with this yet. Do you have any idea how much normal celebrities are bugged? The paparazzi is always in their business. Now imagine the smashers. If the rest of the world found out I'm pregnant, I would never have any peace. I can barely go to Smashville now without being chased by a mob of fans. Do you have any idea how serious this is?!" Peach scolded him.

Snake thought this situation could cause great stress and started to light a cigarette.

"Snake! Are you even listening to me?" Peach asked now annoyed.

"Look bitch. I'm just trying to make it through the day without killing someone. That's not gonna happen if you don't shut the fuck up." Snake impolitely said.

Peach reached into the ground and threw a vegetable at him causing him to drop his cigarette.

"That was my last one! That's it. Your going down." Snake fumed as he pulled out a pistol.

Mario had reached the peak of his tolerance for Snake, which was enough to give Mario the power to unleash Mario Finale at him. Snake ran for his life and turned a corner to make a very narrow escape. He pulled out his remote controlled missile and made his way to Mario along the ceiling. Lucario saw the missile and took complete control over it. He guided it back to Snake. Snake had no idea what was going on because his signal was lost. He looked up to see his missile very close to his head. He thought his life would come to an end as the missile began it's decent to Snake's head.

"Well Snake, looks like this is it." He whispered to himself.

Just as the missile was about to touch his head, a light arrow shot it away. He looked to the side to see his savior.

"Hello Snake. What's going on?" Pit asked.

"Pit, I never thought I'd be so happy to see you." Snake sighed relieved.

"What's the problem?" Pit asked.

"Mario, Ness, Lucas, Mewtwo, Lucario, and Peach are trying to kill me. I need your help." Snake briefly explained.

"Why are they trying to kill you?" Pit asked. Their conversation had been cut short due to a bob-bomb walking right up to them.

"Run!" Snake commanded. They ran into Snake and Captain Falcon's room.

"Why are we in your room?" Pit asked still confused with this whole situation.

"I need to gear up for this. I can tell this will be a battle that will make Super Smash Bros. history."

* * *

**Author's note: **I know it could have used more action but I guess from the last chapter to this one was a huge leap toward action. Now, based by that ending, you can tell the mansion will be going under a serious battle. Please review. Choose someone for the disclaimer in your comments. Also, if you want to see a smasher in particular on either Snake's team or Mario's team let me know. Come to my profile for a picture of the human versions of Kirby and Jigglypuff.


	5. Metal Gear Metroid War 2

Seriously people, REVIEW!! I've been waiting so long because no one asked for someone to do the disclaimer. How about this new rule, unless you ask, I'll be doing the disclaimer from now on. I bet I'll get some reviews now.

Disclaimer: You know me. I don't own anything.

* * *

Super Smash Snake chapter 5

_**Smash Lounge**_

_**3:17 PM (a few hours after the conference)**_

Several smashers were playing seven minutes of heaven. Sonic spun the bottle and watched it twirl in the center of the circle of sitting smashers. The bottle slowed and came to a stop at…

"Oh hell no! There is no way that I'm going in a closet with Sonic." Samus yelled now frustrated that she must endure seven minutes with Sonic.

Sonic frowned but got up, took her by the hand, and ran into the closet next to the 108-inch plasma screen TV _**(A/N: yes, they do come that big).**_ Ike, Roy, Marth, and Link, who were watching the movie, _300_, just shrugged off the fact that Sonic had a huge grin on his face.

"What do you think there doing in there?" Link asked after about two minutes.

"Don't really know, don't really care." Ike said rudely.

"What about you, Roy? Roy? Hello, earth to Roy." Link called out to the spaced out boy.

"I think I know the cause of this trance." Marth said as he pointed to the screen.

Roy pressed the slow motion button on the remote as he and Ike watched the Oracle dance around. Roy, now drooling, used the A-B setting on the remote to watch the Oracle scene from beginning to end over and over again. _**(A/N: go to my profile for a link to the Oracle scene of 300) **_As Nana and Popo entered the room, Captain Falcon rushed over to the children ASAP.

"Shield our eyes kids." He yelled to them.

"Why?" Nana questioned but was interrupted by CF's hand covering her eyes and hauling her and Popo away. As they left, Samus stormed out of the closet with Sonic following.

"I'm never playing that stupid game again!" She yelled as she walked towards the elevator.

The smashers then heard a loud explosion and the chandelier at the front door fell on GW. ROB, who was talking to GW before he was crushed, ran to go get his tools and first-aid kit immediately. All the smashers in the room, except for Roy, Ike, GW, and ROB, ran upstairs. Samus, who was walking toward her room, noticed Peach and Mario running toward the stairs, only to be shoved back into the hall by the numerous smashers running through the door. When the crowd cleared Mario and Peach ran back to the stairs and fled the building. Samus looked out a window and saw them, Master Hand, Crazy Hand, all the assist trophy smashers, and Nurse Joy load a helicopter with all the pokeballs and fly away. Samus knew when she saw this that something bad was about to happen. She ran to her room to pack so she can flee as well but when she opened the door her mouth dropped open in shock. Her room was gone. She noticed debris on the ground below.

"I'M GONNA KILL WHOEVER DID THIS!" she fumed as she jumped down and ran to the hangar. She always kept all her power suits (other than the one she wears) in her space ship. Once Samus suited up, she ran back the second floor of the mansion to find who destroyed her room. When she entered the hall, there were no smashers there. She shrugged it off and started looking around for some evidence as to who obliterated her room. The next step she took set off a motion sensor bomb. Samus shrieked as she was blown back a few feet.

"We got a hit!" a familiar voice exclaimed in victory. The figure then ran up to his victim.

"Samus! What are you doing here?!

"I could ask you the same thing, Snake!" Samus shot back with murder in her eyes.

"I thought you were Ness, Lucas, Mewtwo, or Lucario." Snake explained apologetically.

"Why?"

"They're trying to kill me."

"That doesn't surprise me. By the way, would you happen to know who destroyed my room?"

Snake started sweating and look a little nervous.

"No" he lied.

"Oh really now? Why are you sweating then? Why do you look so nervous?" she asked suspiciously.

"Your so sexy." He replied.

"It's ok if you're the one who destroyed my room Snake. I won't do anything to you. All I want is the truth. If you tell me the truth, I'll let you see my tits." She told him.

"Tits first."

"Truth first or no deal."

"Ok fine. When I threw a grenade at Ness, Lucario diverted it toward your room. The door to your room was open and your room blew up. Tits please." Snake explained.

"You mean to tell me, that you threw a grenade at a thirteen year old boy, and in the process DESTROYED MY ROOM?!?!?!?!?"

Snake nodded in confirmation. Samus charged her zero laser and aimed her arm at Snake. He ran for his life as the bright beam got closer to him. He broke into Jiglypuff and Kirby's room during their love game.

"Snake?!" Jigllypuff yelled as she rose from under the covers.

"What the hell man?! Get out!" Kirby shouted.

"Samus, come to my room." Lucario telepathically told Samus. "and tell her to bring my yo-yo." She heard Ness in the background. "Could you bring Ness's yo-yo on your way over here? He said he left it in the elevator."

As Samus was making her way to Lucario's room, Snake was trying to explain his situation to Kirby and Jigglypuff.

"Would you like some help?" Kirby offered.

"I'd love it."

"Let us get ready and we'll meet you at your room." Jigglypuff suggested.

"Sounds good. I guess I'll see you soon then." Snake said on his way out.

* * *

**Author's Note: I figured that the best way to end this chapter would be at the end of recruitment and a conversation. I'll put him in here one way or another **_Grunge King._


End file.
